Lol!!! Funny Words For Today

i got this from facebook, and decided to share it with you guys.. Enjoy A guy asked u for sex and u asked, "Do u Love me?". What do u expect him to say or Are U a LEARNER ? Half naked girls are hot, while well dressed girls are beautiful..  Hell is hot, while heaven is beautiful. .the choice is yours. You have been engaged to him for more than 2 years and no wedding is forth-coming. Please kindly remove the ring. Is your finger a key holder?  You have slept with over 10 girls without protection yet you go to the barbers shops with your personal clipper. What are you preventing??? Guys always know who their hearts belongs to, so if you like cook chicken in diamond sauce or do monkey style in bed,if it's not you, it can't be u.  In America when couples go to bed they say "Good night my love" In Britain "Sweet dreams darling"  In Nigeria "Did u lock d Gate, doors & windows? You cannot say "I can't date you, I have a boyfriend" and be asking for money frm the guy, GTBank staffs cannot receive salaries from UBA bank na! My name is Funmi, I used my friend to set up my boyfriend to see if he'll cheat on me. Now they've sent me a wedding Invitation. WHAT AM I? A) Learner B)God sent C) Fool Most Guys will never tell a Lady "i ve a GF" when asking her out. Their National Anthem is "we had issues & we've broken up". welcome to Nigeria where the government is responsible and blamed for every damn things. if mosquito bite you, you will blame the government. No girl is single, you either snatch her from someone or share her with someone, the most important thing is to be the highest ShareHolder.  I woke up today, someone somewhere just took their last breath. Thank You God for blessing me more than I deserved. 35yr old first class graduate without a job and u dey follow Lil'Wayne sing 'I Ain't Got no worries' ...ur life is on SOS. Idiot girl said: "I dated him for GOOD 10 years and he broke my heart" fool, what's GOOD in the years? (1).Sex won't make him love u (2). A baby won't make him stay. If you're doubting me, kindly ask TUFACE. No matter how nice you are to a goat, it will still eat your yam.  What shall it profit a girl to have all the brazilian hairs in the whole world and still lose her boyfriend to a girl on low cut. Kill an American citizen and 1 million policemen will be deployed to search for u but kill 1 million Nigerians U will be invited for amnesty. Don't act like you have it all, even rich men beg for pen in the bank. No matter how big ur house is,How recent your car is,or how huge ur bank account is, Our grave is still gonna be the same size, stay humble. No Matter How Pretty Or Cute your Face Might Be, You Will Still Be the Food For Worms....Set ur Arrogance Aside and Remember 6 Feet. No one lives for Ever. Agree?